Who you choose to move forward with

Sibling race weekend in Minnesota

My girlfriend and I spent the weekend in southeast Minnesota. For the uninitiated, it might sound like an odd pick for a getaway, but the Driftless region holds a special place in my heart. I’ve spent many family trips and long weekends there. Hot, humid days spent fly fishing and evenings that always pass by too quickly spent at breweries.

We had a different mission this trip. After a slew of travel woes we pulled into a teeny tiny Minnesota town at about three in the morning (thank you Delta... -10 points). We were coming in for the Med City Marathon in Rochester, MN. My sister and I were running the half. It was her first race in a long, long time and it’s what got her back into running after college. Growing up, we spent most of our time at swim meets, not road races, so this was new for us. We’re not chasing Boston qualifiers, at all, but a Sunday morning run through windy, cloud covered farmland and forests was the perfect way to cap off the weekend.

Over time, at least for those of us that don't continue living in close proximity to one another after our departure from shared childhood homes, sibling relationships change so drastically. People move. They start families. Work takes over. One day, you realize that your lives which once felt destined to be intertwined forever have quietly drifted apart. Days and weeks go by without checking in. The holidays become the only time it seems like everyone has the time to get together. It’s all too easy to take for granted how simple staying close was when you lived under the same roof or within the same city limits. Each year it feels like the effort required to keep up increases.

Running a half-marathon won’t fix every sibling gap. But for us, it created a shared experience we hadn’t had as adults whose lives have taken different directions in different places. We discussed our training (some weeks were better than others), swapped ideas, and checked in more often than we otherwise would have. Despite living hundreds of miles away from one another, this goal allowed us to move toward something in tandem, even if it was just a random race in flyover country.

This race embodied the best parts of running to me. There was no Satisfy gear. I didn't see a single pair of Bandit tights. No one was ripping a Cadence can. Didn't see an Alphafly on anyone. Everyone was getting along just fine without a MothTech tee (Macke is trying to buy one as I write this). People were just out there to be out there. Laughing off the harsh, bitter wind, not taking it too seriously.

cold

I love cool gear and niche brands as much as the next person, believe me I do (I'm wearing Minted New York shorts while writing this). As fun as some of that stuff is, it was refreshing to see a relatively small group of runners standing in the nearly freezing-cold morning wind hiding behind a small-town America brick building waiting for our race to start. No one concerned with the glamour of the latest drop or sleekest kit. Just doing it to do it.

It’s never about how cool the race you're running will look on Strava, or the fact that you have body-mapped holes cut into your shirt that impress your Saturday morning long run partner. It’s always about who you choose to move forward with.

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Other Essays you can check out:

• What I Give Up for the Preekend

• Seasonal seesaw

• Refusal to quit

• Requiem for Travel

• On Forward Momentum

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