Refusal to quit

Robert Pattinson’s character in Good Time and collecting resilience, as it happens

Recently, I’ve spent quite a bit of time with a seasoned tech founder. Years ago, she and her co-founders set out to tackle a critical problem - first in the U.S., then globally. They built an incredible product, established an iconic HQ campus, and navigated multiple funding rounds with some of the most well-known VC firms. I will be vague here for the sake of discretion, but they developed a truly meaningful solution to a serious problem. And yes, it all started in a garage. Shocker.

But my time with this founder hasn’t been about building or creating shareholder value. Instead, it’s been about empathy.

A few years ago, her company became the target of a disinformation campaign. Their product had disrupted a well-established industry, and while they were prepared for competitive pressure, they weren’t ready for the avalanche of coordinated mis and disinformation. All of the internet’s worst conspiracy theorists sunk their teeth into it and the leadership team has been forced to spend too much of their time on damage control. Calendars filled with days of crisis comms meetings and time with legal.

I was brought in to help right the ship and provide some direction in the middle of this crisis. But more than that, I’ve listened to her process what it’s like to have her life’s work picked apart by keyboard warriors with no skin in the game while her board breathes down her neck. To say that she’s under an immense amount of pressure would be an understatement. She’s leading her team through what feels like a personal attack on the core of what she built and believed in. And yet, she refuses to give up. To her, it’s worth every ounce of the burden she carries. She’s stayed calm and led with strength - often at times when I’m not sure I would’ve.

A true warrior in the garden.

My cousin Austin after playing 18 at Torrey Pines. We’ve come a long way.

Building a multi billion dollar company does not shield you from breaking. Trial is universal - and it should be.

Resiliency is something I don’t always recognize in the moment. I can feel it - I just don’t always realize it as it’s happening. It’s different on a screen though. I’m quick to latch onto a hero. It's easy rooting for Robert Pattinson’s character in Good Time or wanting Matty Healy to overcome that damn heroine addiction. I cried watching Max Jolliffe cross the finish line at the 2024 Moab 240. Go watch King of Moab and you'll see what I mean. Max possesses an almost otherworldly refusal to quit. Badass doesn’t even cover it.

It takes less awareness to admire someone overcoming adversity when it’s larger than life. The real challenge is being just as quick to notice it in the people I know and love. Many people in my life have inspired me to continue on in strength. I want to build something meaningful, face trials (please god not a disinformation campaign), remain calm, and lean into my lived experience.

What I’m learning isn't how to choose resiliency, but how to collect it. I'm pocketing pieces of strength along the way and saving them for when I need them most. It’s remembering how the people I love kept moving forward - even when it would’ve made sense to quit.

One day, when I’m up against it, I too will be resilient - not because I asked or decided to be, but because I spent a lifetime collecting strength from the people who’ve shown me how.

Thanks for reading—have a great week.

The internet is an overwhelming mess of headlines, ads, and mid takes from the worst people you know. Big Tech owns our attention spans. Everything is content. Nothing makes sense.

We’re not here to “fix discourse” or “build a better internet.” Relay is just our attempt to riff on what we’re already talking about at happy hour without feeling like we’ve been hit by a content truck. Some analysis, some memes, call it a day.

You might like it. Tag along.