Every Friday
On remembering what we have and Coachella payment plans
I was asked this week if I have any pets. I said no. Then came the follow-up—do you have kids? Another no.
A pause. I ran a few more paces while he pedaled his bike.
"So what do you have?" asked the kid, looking at me like I wasn't properly equipped for the world.
I laughed at the shocked inflection in his voice and answered by telling him about my close friends and family.
There was no follow up question about what job I have or what kind of car I drive. How much money I made last year or what I spent it on. Where I've been or where I'm planning on going this year. He had cut right through all of that, straight to the stuff that matters, no interest in the rest.
Clearly the kid—at this point I'm convinced he was some ancient sage in disguise—was onto something because I haven't stopped thinking about his question since. One of those questions that just clings on and makes you think about what you have your identity wrapped up in.
Keep it in mind before you let yourself get too attached to any of the bombardment of information we here at Relay are trying to sift through for you.
“We’re all just trying to be the best version of ourselves online.”
— Bo Burnham
“The real problem of humanity is the following: we have Paleolithic emotions, medieval institutions, and god-like technology.”
— E.O. Wilson
Top of Mind
Behind The Screens
“Lab grown nuggets” might be on your local McDonalds menu sooner rather than later according to these scientists.1 Will we soon have “lab grown” as a mainstream option like we have vegan options now? We aren’t sure how we feel about this… Logistically, it seems net positive. Still, it feels kind’ve weird.
Rippling is trying to serve Deel’s CEO and literally can’t find him. It’s the latest in a growing fight between two of the biggest names in HR tech. Things are clearly getting messy, and it doesn’t look like either side is backing down anytime soon.
Chris Dixon (read Read Write Own — seriously) is calling it: stablecoins aren’t just crypto hype, they’re making money move as easily as sending a text. Meanwhile, the SEC is aligning with the GENIUS and FIRM Acts which are moving fast through Congress. If you’re still sleeping on stablecoins, you’re gonna miss the biggest shift in fintech since Venmo.
From Washington
Meta’s trying to dodge a total shutdown of its acquisitions by cutting a deal with the FTC - but it’s not looking good. The feds are coming for Zuck harder than ever. Dying to know which general counsel thought offering $450M to fend off a $30B problem was a good idea (and if they still have a job).
DNC co-char David Hogg (parkland survivor turned activist) is pissing off party officials by announcing he’s going to be spending $20 million to elect younger, more progressive candidates in solidly blue districts. Party officials are less than enthusiastic about focusing time and money on intra-party fighting when there are red seats to be flipped. Him bucking the party line feels like less of a one-off conflict and more of a bellwether for the deeper conflict brewing inside a party at a crossroads. Grab your popcorn.
Ctrl+Alt+Culture
In case your feed hasn’t been overtaken by Coachella content (ours has): 60% of festival goers financed their tickets through “buy now, pay later” platforms like Klarna. It’s a telling stat in the middle of an uncertain economy - credit card debt is at record highs, inflation is still sticky, and consumer confidence is wobbling. The appetite for big-ticket experiences hasn’t slowed, it’s just being restructured into monthly installments. Nothing says financial wellness like four easy payments to see Travis Scott in the desert. Debt is temporary. But vibes? Forever. (we’re kidding please don’t finance dumb sh!t)
The Girlfriend Hangover Theory: When one is in the beginning stages of a relationship with a new partner, hangovers simply don’t exist. The 5th date runs long and becomes 3 cocktails + a bottle of wine? No problem, up for work early, bright eyed and bushy-tailed. Dance the night away, stay up way too late? It’s like you were built for 3 hours of sleep.
I’ve long believed in what the group chat has coined The Girlfriend Hangover Theory. Using all 4 braincells that exist in my college group chat to summarize, it would go something like above. Lindy Man explores this phenomena more broadly on how stress impacts hangovers. Vacation, love, and everything else wonderful in life, tones down alcohol’s effect on us the next day. We are all getting old, but the real reason 2-3 martini’s at a work happy hour leaves us feeling beat up in the morning may be the compounding stress of our week.
"The anti-aging industry isn’t about care. It’s about control. It sells the illusion that if we just do everything 'right,' we can outrun the truth that time never sits still and we are aging. While some of what Bryan Johnson - the billionaire on a quest to reverse aging - is doing is cool, we’re on the side of Nick Monica in regard to the whole “we should never get older” thing.
This Week in Substack | New Segment Alert 🚨
ICYMI: Happy Hour Edition
There’s a certain art to maintaining long distance friends in your twenties. Jedidiah Jenkins (an author I keep up with) calls it alligator food. Alligators eat one massive meal - a deer, say - and they coast on those calories for months. Same idea. I see some people I love twice a year, maybe once a month if they live across town, and recharge again to hit the daily slog. — Elastic Friendship by James Stinnett
It’s Not That Deep, Randy
Thanks for reading—or for mega scrolling all the way down here.
The internet is an overwhelming mess of headlines, ads, and mid takes from the worst people you know. Big Tech owns our attention spans. Everything is content. Nothing makes sense.
We’re not here to “fix discourse” or “build a better internet.” Relay is just our attempt to riff on what we’re already talking about at happy hour without feeling like we’ve been hit by a content truck. Some analysis, some memes, call it a day.
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Cultivated meat is complicated, and our views are still evolving - but companies like Upside Foods, led by the impressive Dr. Uma Valeti, are setting a high bar for how it can be done right.
this is my favorite intro we’ve done fr
Which one of y’all is using kind’ve